


drifting

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Song: Drift Away, i shouldnt dwell, im tired of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 10:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: #9





	drifting

**Author's Note:**

> heard about the steven universe movie  
i feel like i can relate  
like most people can,  
unfortunately...

(Then, she smiled. That's what I'm after. The smile in her eyes, the sound of her laughter!)

At first, she dragged me along. I was upset over it. Being separated from all things familiar, from my family. I privately wished I could be back where I belong. After a minute of being in a new world, she decided I didn't belong where I was. She told me I was going to see the family again. That's what I wanted, right? So, I went. Because I missed them. But I realized she wasn't following. I no longer had a chance to change my mind. So, on I went. 

(Happy to listen, happy to play.) 

After what felt like forever, she came back. We were all happy again. But something changed. I was following her everywhere, like a shadow. The only time I wasn't with her was if I was at school, or she was in the bathroom, or she locked herself in the room to have some time to herself. If she wasn't at school in time to walk me home, I would start crying, almost immediately, and start calling her over and over. If she was in the bathroom, I was waiting outside. If she was in her room, I would be knocking, crying whilst doing so. I realize now, I was making everything terrible and suffocating for her. But at the time, it only seemed reasonable to follow her everywhere.

(Happily wondering night after night, is this how it works, am I doing it right?)

I think that's why she started running away for days at a time to friends, sometimes bordering on full weeks. She started drifting away. I was crowding her out. I seemed to only make things worse.

(Happy to listen, happy to stay. Happily watching her drift away...)

She finally left. She said she was going to take me, but I don't think so. Why would she want me there?

She doesn't even visit anymore, and I'm only likely to get any word from her once a month or less. How much farther can she even drift at this point?

(You keep on turning pages for people who don't care...)

Same thing with them. We would text everyday. They all got to see each other, but I was left behind. Those everyday texts turned into weekly texts. They only talked to me to vent their problems to me. Weekly texts turned into monthly. It's mostly me texting to make sure they're okay. Of course, I'm still trying to cling onto them. Why can't I just let go? They have new friends now. They post about them, like they've forgotten I exist. 

I isolate myself, and push people away. I try not to change anything. But soon all the people in my life will be gone. He said to me once, You just gonna keep everything the way it is, without change? Soon we won't be here anymore. It's gonna be a lonely world for you!

Isn't it already lonely though?

(Still, it takes you ages to see that no-ones there, everyone's gone on without you.)


End file.
